The Prairie Review

Report: Seems Like Doc Baker Should Be A Little Fatter From All The Pie

Walnut Grove, Minn.- Residents of Walnut Grove are marveling at Doc Baker’s relatively trim body in light of how much pie the medical professional receives in payment for services.

“He must have a great metabolism,” Nels Oleson commented. “He’s always getting paid with food. Granted he gets some chickens and apples, but he gets so much pie. If he’s eating all that pie before it goes stale, well, it’s remarkable.”

Harriet Oleson interjected her husband to speculate that he “must be eating those eggs from the chickens, because he sure isn’t selling them to the Mercantile. I bet his chickens even lay white eggs! They’d bring a much better price than those brown Ingalls eggs.”

Acknowledging that Doc Baker also receives healthy and nutritious food, the townsfolk also pointed out that he is pretty much never seen eating the healthy food. According to town father and frequent card playing companion of Doc Baker, Lars Hanson, “He has all those apples, yeah? But they sit in his office! Rot in the cupboards! I bet if they were in pie, he would eat them.”

Further wondering at his apparent decent shape, townsfolk pointed out that unlike many of the residents of the town who perform manual labor or walk many miles a day, Doc Baker is almost exclusively seen transporting himself in his buggy. As Nels Oleson comments, “I don’t think he’s burning that many calories.”

At press time, Harriet Oleson was starting a rumor that Doc Baker wears a girdle.