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Report: Miss Beadle Totally Making Out

Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle totally made out with a man during the lunch break, students report.

Mary Ingalls sat outside the school house despondent over the state of her eyesight when a man arrived and flirted with the child. After bestowing a flower upon Mary, the man entered the school house where Mary followed to find her teacher locking lips with the mysterious stranger.

“Wow, what a confidence boost!” Mary Ingalls excited told The Prairie Review. “To know that even girls with glasses and questionable hair can get kissed, well, it’s just good to know.”

As word spread around town, citizens expressed mixed reactions.

“Miss Beadle making out?” Doc Baker commented. “Now that’s something I’d like to see. Her having a life, I mean.”

Caroline Ingalls expressed appreciation for the lighter load placed on her shoulders. “Now that I know she has a bit of a social life, well, it just doesn’t make it so vital that I invite her over for supper,” she commented. “After all, Charles does work so hard and we have so very little.”

“Please don’t tell Charles that Carrie spilled the last of the sugar,” Caroline added. “He does so like to have it along with his nightly gallon of coffee and I know we can’t afford the waste.”

Harriet Oleson, on the other hand, was appalled. “To think that the teacher would behave that way right in the school house! And during school hours, with children around no less! You just cannot trust these country folk.”

At press time, Miss Beadle was making up an assignment to send the children home early. “This assignment is meaningless and I won’t even look at it when they turn it in,” Miss Beadle admitted. “I just want to go make out with my boyfriend more.”