The Prairie Review

Men of Walnut Grove to Donate Eye Brow Hair to Locks of Love

Walnut Grove, Minn.- The men of Walnut Grove are excited to report that they have enough eye brow hair to make a donation to Locks of Love.

Nels Oleson tells us that the idea started when Reverend Alden encouraged the townsfolk to consider ways in which they could serve others. Reverend Alden scheduled a town meeting to discuss ways in which the town could benefit people in need. “I was startled by the amount of eye brow hair in the room,” Alden tells us. “I could barely see most people’s eyes. That’s when it hit me—the best thing these men can do to make a difference in the world is to cut that hair off and donate it.  I mean when you have some men who have more hair on their eye brows than I have on my head, the answer is just obvious—just staring me in the face really.”

Several of the women of Walnut Grove set up a tent behind Oleson’s Mercantile that served as a temporary salon for the day. The women were equally happy about the donation as they were about cleaning up the men of the town. “It’s just amazing the difference that eye brows can make in a face, isn’t it?” Harriet Oleson crooned. “For years, I was telling Nels he should do something about his eye brows. I mean, it just isn’t normal! And we, as the elite of Walnut Grove, have a responsibility to always look our best.”

The Ingalls were notably absent from this charitable activity. “Oh, Charles is just naturally virtually hairless,” Caroline tells us. “Other than his amazing head of hair, he’s just naturally smooth. That sheen on his chest is natural too.”

At press time, Caroline was making popcorn while the women of the temporary salon were gathering and bundling locks of eye brow hair for shipment.