The Prairie Review

Jack Endures Another Long Walk Behind Wagon

Deadwood, South Dakota–Disturbing allegations have been made against Charles Ingalls in regards to his treatment of the family dog, Jack. It seems that the man has a habit of making the little dog walk behind the wagon on long journeys, regardless of the weather or conditions of travel.

Jack, the furry friend of the family, recently contacted The Prairie Review after the Ingalls family settled into their temporary home in Gold Country. “When they started talking about going to Dakota territory, I knew this wouldn’t be good for me,” Jack barked. “When we moved from the Big Woods to Kansas, I had to walk behind the wagon the entire time for reasons I never understood,” the dog continued.

Jack started whimpering as he recounted the harrowing experience of a river crossing in which he very nearly drowned. “I can’t believe he [Charles] didn’t learn from that experience,” Jack whined. “Why am I even loyal to this family anymore? The only thing he laments is the loss of a watchdog. Um, excuse me? Does the man even know that I can be a watchdog AND ride in the wagon sometimes? I’m a dog, I have keen senses. Plus the wagon is open in the back. Does he really think I wouldn’t be able to tell what’s going on outside while being a little more comfortable in the wagon at the same time?”

“I didn’t even get to ride in the wagon for that short little trip when we were going over a couple of those famous Kansas foothills to find the place where our home would be,” Jack growled, continuing to bear his teeth for several minutes as he recalled the incidents that would be forever seared in his brain.

It appears that the Ingalls family did not learn anything from almost losing their allegedly beloved companion. “Hundreds of miles on foot for me again this trip,” Jack barked. “It rained almost the entire time. And where did I have to go for shelter? Under the wagon, eating grass and stuff. Does the man not even realize that eating grass is not good for dogs?”

At press time, Jack was hoping that the family would never return to Walnut Grove because he knows that if they did he’d have another long journey. “I might just run away if it comes to that,” Jack mused.