Walnut Grove, Minn.– Visitors to the Ingalls residence were recently caught off guard when Carrie, the third daughter of Charles and Caroline Ingalls, began to display strange behavior as the family sat around the dinner table.
“Yeah, I know Carrie is usually strange, but this was different,” commented the visiting husband character, whose name we’ve already forgotten because he was best friends with the Ingalls for about a week and then seemingly disappeared from Walnut Grove. “We’re all just sitting around having dinner and suddenly she is looking over my shoulder. I look back to see what it was–maybe Bandit was up to some hijinks or something?–and I didn’t see anything. I turn back, Carrie is giggling and saying something to an, oh, what was the name…”
“Alyssa,” the wife character interjected. “The name was Alyssa. She sounded like she was calling for her and wanted to tell her about some giant fruit. Very strange, considering there wasn’t even fruit on the table.”
When interviewed, the Ingalls family explained that it is an occurrence that happened periodically with their daughter. Charles Ingalls tells us that it first began shortly after he arrived home from a long-term gig he had taken working out of town for the telephone company. “We’re not really sure what all happened while I was away, and of course when Carrie was saying weird things to Caroline and the girls about someone named Alyssa, well, no one really took it seriously. I mean, it’s Carrie we’re talking about here. It seems she took some substance that caused these visions. Now she’s having, oh, what did Doc Baker call it? A flash…a flashback. That’s it.”
It seems that Carrie obtained a hallucinogenic substance from an unknown source while she was under limited supervision as Charles was out of town. Since that experience, she has occasionally started yelling for a friend named Alyssa and talking about huge fruit, spiders, and other anomalies.
“Usually if you just let her work through it, she’ll come out okay,” Caroline Ingalls informed us.
“I just wish I knew where she got it,” Albert Ingalls added.
At press time, Carrie was ripping twigs off her wall to see if Alyssa was hiding back there and listening to Tom Petty.