The Prairie Review

Children of Walnut Grove Manage to Survive Day in Miss Beadle’s Care

Walnut Grove, Minn.– In a surprising bout of unexpected good news, it seems that the children of Walnut Grove have all survived the day despite spending it at the schoolhouse under the tutelage of Miss Beadle.

The same teacher who has doled out assignments such as describing what wild animal each child would most like to have as a pet and sent them home in the midst of a raging blizzard has somehow made it through the day without making any decisions that would adversely affect any of the school children.

“Every day the children come home unscathed is a relief,” Caroline Ingalls tells The Prairie Review. “Basically weeks apart Carrie fell down a well and the children almost died in a blizzard. It really makes me question if Miss Beadle should be teaching, but it’s not like we have anyone else willing to do it at the moment, so each day all we can do is pray.”

Even Isaiah Edwards admits to taking more precautionary measures when sending the children off for the day. “Well now, uh, don’t mention this to Grace, you hear? But I send a little something with the children to school each day,” Edwards informs us, making motions with his hand that suggest drinking from a bottle of alcohol. “I’ll never forget that it was the booze that saved them children of mine in that there blizzard. You never know when that will happen next.”

At press time, Miss Beadle was considering instructing the children to survey Hero Township to see who could find the largest hole.