Breaking: Charles Ingalls Manages to Reform Family Without Farm Labor
Walnut Grove, Minn.-In an unprecedented series of events, local farmer and lay family reformer Charles Ingalls has managed to reform a family without the use of manual labor.
While Charles Ingalls’ use of manual labor is a well known tactic employed to break down barriers and reform troubled individuals at the core level, the man has recently accomplished something that surprised even him.
“I usually use farm labor,” Charles informs The Prairie Review. “It’s really effective. It literally breaks people down and in their vulnerability they realize the errors of their ways. Once we reach this point, it’s not uncommon for the reform to be complete practically overnight. Look no further than that alcoholic father I reformed that one time.”
“And as a bonus, so much work on my farm gets done,” Charles added before laughing uproariously for five minutes.
When the laughter finally subsided, Charles explained that in his most recent reform, he changed his tactics completely. “I was on someone else’s farm,” Charles informs us as he begins explaining how he was spending time on a horse ranch in what seems to be a random side job he acquired for reasons that are not entirely clear. “I couldn’t very well use farm labor on a farm that wasn’t even mine, so I tried a different method. A more psychological one, you might say.”
The family in question had suffered tragedy following the death of a son in a horseback riding accident. To cope with the pain, the father and husband figure turned to drinking. In turn, he neglected his family and relations with his wife were strained.
“I knew I had to step in and do something,” Charles explains, “and I didn’t have any real tools at my disposal–just my mind. I’ve often played the role of mediator, so I figured this was a good time to really test how far I could go with it.”
After befriending the wife and children, Charles allowed the vulnerable woman to develop a crush on him. “Once I knew she had a crush on me, I knew I had this one in the bag,” Charles confirms. “It just opened up the door for me to prime her to turn her affections back to her husband and work at being happy. And by work at being happy, I mean put on a nice dress and do something with your hair. When she stated she was leaving her husband, I knew I’d be able to really build on his reaction and kind of verbally beat it into him that life is hard, we’ve all had hard times, and he needs to just embrace his family.”
“All in all, it was a smashing success,” Charles concluded. “So successful, in fact, I wonder if maybe I should take on side missions like this more regularly. I think maybe I need a partner though. You know who would be good–Isaiah Edwards! I haven’t seen him in forever, but I think we could really team up to fix peoples’ lives if we really put our minds to it.”