Albert to Spend Dying Days Where He Became Ingalls Without Most of Ingalls Family

Walnut Grove, Minn.-Reports indicate that former Walnut Grove resident Albert Ingalls has returned to the town to await his death. Of note is the absence of most of the rest of the family.

“When Albert said he wanted to return to Walnut Grove after his diagnosis, I tried to talk him into spending time with his mother and siblings,” Charles Ingalls comments. “He said he wanted to return to where he became an Ingalls, though, and that place is Walnut Grove.”

Although Albert became an Ingalls in Walnut Grove less than five years ago, he wishes to now return to the small town without the rest of the Ingalls family. The plan appears to be for Caroline and the children to spend their time in Burr Oak while Charles tries to influence the entire farming community in a town in which he no longer lives, Albert spends his time with a girl no one has met previously but appears to remember Albert and have a crush on him, and Laura tries to make Albert stay in bed.

When questioned why he wished to rob his mother and other siblings of the opportunity to spend time with him in his last days and give a proper goodbye, Albert emphatically insists that the decision of how to spend his dying days is his alone.

“My death, my choice,” Albert tells us. “I can have whoever I want surrounding me in my last days, even if that includes Mr. Edwards even though he almost killed me that one time driving the wagon drunk, Mr. Montague who I’ve never met but seems like an alright guy, visiting Miss Plum’s classroom where they all saw me punch her, and Jenny who only knows me from my drug abuse days. Furthermore, I can spend my time however I want, even if that includes hanging out with Michelle and her family because no one can tell me I can’t. If I don’t want my family there, it doesn’t matter what their relationship is to me or how long I’ve known them compared to these relative strangers with whom I am spending my last days.”

Driving the point home, Albert adds that no one has the right to question his wishes because death “isn’t a spectator sport.”

At press time, Albert is making a spectacle of climbing a mountain.