Just Another Day At Ingalls Dinner Table

Walnut Grove, Minn.-The Ingalls family reports that today has just been your typical day around the family dinner table.

“Dinner starts off pretty normal and stayed that way,” patriarch Charles indicates. “We all sat around the dinner table eating and Albert asks questions about getting married at fourteen. You know, the kind of talk you usually have at dinner. Then I realized he wanted to get married at fourteen, which made me pretty mad. But what’s a family dinner without such an exchange?”

As the conversation grew heated, Charles commanded Carrie to go to her room.

“What room?” Carrie laughingly comments. “You mean the elevated portion of this room, since our house is basically one room?”

After Caroline interrupted Carrie to point out that although it lacks a door, the kitchen is technically another room, Albert jumped in to complete the tale.

“So we’re right in the middle of this typical, every day kind of conversation about getting married at fourteen when Sylvia’s dad just bursts through the door with a gun wanting to shoot me because he thought I was the father of her baby.”

“It’s just remarkable,” Albert laughingly continues, “how the family dinner table experience is pretty much universal. I mean, this kind of stuff is happening every single day at family dinners all over the country.”

“Of course,” Caroline interjects, “it wouldn’t really be all that typical of a day if Albert and Charles didn’t have to go out in the pouring rain to set Mr. Webb straight. By set him straight, I mean Charles had to punch him but then he hugged him.”

At press time, the Ingalls family looked forward to similarly completely ordinary dinner experiences each evening for the rest of their lives.