Insane Family Brings Dog To Fair, Lets It Run Loose All Day
Redwood, Minn.- Recent reports from the Redwood County Fair indicate that the Ingalls family brought their family dog, Bandit, to the festivities and proceeded to let their dog roam unsupervised for the entire day.
It apparently didn’t occur to the family, whose behavior is usually considered more or less stable, that the temporary loss of sense that led them to turn their dog loose at the fair could possibly even cause issues until they had trouble finding Bandit at the end of the day.
“Bandit is part of the family,” Charles Ingalls commented. “The entire family needed a day of fun, Bandit included. He’s a fully grown dog, so I thought he could handle it. And look, I’m right. He came back…eventually.”
Commentary on the family’s behavior provided a different perspective. One of the local pickpockets remarked that seeing a family dog just running loose at the fair was “unexpected and unwelcome,” while Harriet Oleson remarked that it’s just the sort of behavior she would expect from ignorant farmers.
Bandit himself expressed mixed feelings. “I generally like being part of the Ingalls family,” Bandit barked. “Charles didn’t object when I hopped on the wagon and came home with them, and he even let me ride in the wagon, which was nice. I’ve heard stories about how Jack had to walk behind the wagon on these hideously long journeys and almost drowned once. So anyway, the fact that they let me ride on the wagon is really nice.”
Although Bandit is relieved at his relatively pampered lifestyle, he did express some concern that the family seemed to briefly consider leaving the fairgrounds without him. “While they didn’t seem to want to leave without me,” Bandit continued, a whimper creeping into his bark, “the choice seemed to be between me and possibly driving home in the dark. I can’t believe that just because the sun goes down, they might leave me. I know Charles can drive at night–we’ve all seen it happen. Although I had a decent day and even met a dog friend, it’s not really worth losing my family over. I’m not going down that road again. It’s just lucky for me that I found them before the wagon slipped out of town. Part of me feels like if the kids hadn’t expressed concern for me, Charles would have left town without me.”
“That man is an animal,” Bandit concluded.
At press time, the fair was forming a subcommittee to demand leash laws be put in place for next year’s fair.
