I’ve been a drinking man. I’ve been a gamblin’ man. I’m trying to get Willie to like tobacco. Heck, I’ve had darn near every vice a body can have. One thing I would never do? Leave someone’s bed in this condition.
When Charles asked me if he could stay in my cabin while he cleaned that there boy of his up from the morphine, I was happy to let ‘em.. Sure as shootin’, any problem of Charles’ is a problem of mine. I also kind of, you know, owed him. Uh, for that time I almost killed Albert driving that there wagon drunk. But I’ve cleaned up! I wanted to see his boy clean up too, and I knew my house would do the trick.
And what do you think they did to repay me? Just what? Well, I’ll tell you what. My bed, it’s darn near not fit for sleepin’ no more. I’ll wear the same couple of shirts for prit near ten years but I don’t wanna sleep in that there bed no more, and that’s sayin’ something.
What’s wrong with it? Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it! It’s like someone just spilled a bunch of milk or somethin’ on it. Dried up all crusty, smelly. What I want to know is what the heck them two was doing? Pouring milk all over my bed? Can’t make hide nor hair of it. Is this what morphine does to people? I’ll stick to booze. I mean, I, uh, would if I hadn’t quit drinkin’ that is.
Then Charles, he just up and leaves town. Thanks me for the cabin but don’t say nothin’ about the bed. I tell ya, you think you know somebody…
–Isaiah Edwards, Walnut Grove