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Report: Rabbits Are A Commitment And You Can’t Just Set Them Free Because You Decided To Blow Up The Town

Walnut Grove, Minn. – As troubling as the recent events are that led the town of Walnut Grove to the decision that blowing up the town was the only sensible course of action, perhaps nothing in recent weeks that has happened is as troubling as Jason Carter setting dozens of rabbits free to fend for themselves.

“It must be understood that rabbits are a commitment,” a rabbit welfare activist who chose to speak anonymously with The Prairie Review stated. “Jason’s idea to raise a bunch of rabbits to sell for Easter presents was ill-conceived to begin with. We tend to discourage individuals from purchasing pets as presents for holidays or special occasions because these pets are the ones that often end up neglected or abandoned since they were purchased on impulse for cute holiday factor with little thought put into the long term commitment that is pet ownership. However, Jason’s rabbits didn’t even make it far enough to become someone’s pets. Jason’s money-making venture quickly devolved into him just setting the rabbits free to fend for themselves. Rabbits who were accustomed to a human hand caring for them each day, suddenly left to fend for themselves, and for what reason? Just because they blew up the town?”

The Prairie Review reached out to Nancy Oleson, who was denied a rabbit, for comment. “Father wouldn’t let me get a rabbit just because my last one died,” Nancy tells us. “It’s not entirely my fault that it died just because I didn’t take care of it, but even if it is my fault, at least it was one rabbit. Even I would hesitate to set a whole bunch of rabbits loose like that Carter misfit.”

At press time, everyone suddenly remembered that time that Charles Ingalls made Jack walk behind the wagon and almost drown in the river. “Really uncool,” everyone agreed.