Charles Ingalls Gives City Too Much Credit In Development Of Albert’s Problems

Burr Oak, Iowa- Recent reports indicate that Charles Ingalls is giving the city too much credit in the development of the issues recently displayed by his son, Albert.

Despite the fact that Albert met the Ingalls while living under stairs in the streets of Winoka following his tortured time at an orphanage, Charles laments the role that leaving Walnut Grove has in creating a son that is getting in trouble with the law repeatedly.

Rather than consider the role of burning down the blind school and killing his nephew and friend’s mother in motivating Albert to seek fulfillment in the dark underbelly of society, Charles’ first impulse when hearing about the boy’s third arrest for theft was to ask if he had been with the Morgans.

“I understand that we are an easy scapegoat, but hey Albert didn’t have to seek our company if he didn’t want to himself,” one of the Morgans informed The Prairie Review. “I’m sick of everything being our fault. Did we manufacture the goods that we steal? No. Did we invent morphine? No. I don’t really see how this is our fault. Also, Charles should listen to the kid sometime. Does he think that Albert’s past doesn’t leave any baggage? Some things you can’t hug out.”

Instead, Charles laments the lack of fishing in city life for Albert’s problems rather than, say, the time he fell in love with an impregnanted victim of assault who subsequently died in his arms.

“The city is no good,” Charles pointed out.

At press time, the Morgans were enjoying the extra morphine left for them in Albert’s absence while Albert inexplicably had to attend school while allegedly only visiting Walnut Grove.

“Yeah, I’d probably punch a teacher in that situation, too,” the Morgans confirmed.