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Fashion Icons of the Prairie: Mr. Simms Edition

Walnut Grove, Minn.- Welcome back to Fashion Icons of the Prairie, the column where we analyze the stylings of some of our favorite prairie people and break down what exactly makes them fashion icons. This week we take a look at a man who seldom appears but nevertheless makes an indelible impression: the one and only Mr. Simms! You may remember him for trying to buy the Ingalls farm during Charles’ moment of despair, but we remember him as a fashion icon!

Mr. Simms’ Fashion: The Basics

There’s one way to describe this man’s fashion: go big or go home. Everything about this man–from his massive eyebrows to his huge yellow wagon wheels to his ambition to purchase a farm despite his elderly age to his audacity in befriending the man he manipulated into fixing the farm for him to buy it–screams big and bold! 

What We Love About Mr. Simms’ Fashion

  • A man of plenty of hair, he has cultivated it in the most surprising way. Many men pride themselves on their head of hair. Yeah, we’re looking at you, Puff Daddy (I mean, Charles Ingalls). Not our Mr. Sims. While he doesn’t have the worst head of hair, you can tell he doesn’t waste time grooming it or cultivating it. Other men pride themselves on their perfectly groomed facial hair. Yeah, Mr. Simms has some decent facial hair going as well. He could maybe even dress up as Santa and it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch. But where he really puts his work is his eyebrows, and it shows. See the way they curl up and away from his face? Only the most careful cultivation and styling over a lifetime can achieve such a look. Even before Instagram, Mr. Simms was showing the world what a difference eyebrows can make in your appearance. Even on a prairie full of men with lush, thick eyebrows, Mr. Simms stands in a league of his own.
  • He shows that size doesn’t matter. If he ends up with a hat that is too large for his head, no problem! His supportive eyebrows will take care of holding it up in the proper position on his head. And so what if his eyes are a little beady? The entire eye area really pops thanks to his curled eyebrows. So you’re a little too old and feeble to fix up a farm. That doesn’t mean you can’t have the most pimpin’ wheels on any rig in Walnut Grove!
  • He knows how to use his appearance to get what he wants. So you want to buy a farm but you don’t want to fix it up? Simply appeal to your age and play up the older points of your appearance to get the broken down and despaired man who is trying to sell you the farm to fix it up for you. With all the time and energy he saves, he is then freed up to roll around town with his huge yellow rims and maybe try some new looks–hmm, like maybe braiding those brows?